I have a tendency to get bogged down in my interests and hobbies. I start something and then it overtakes my thoughts and I start feeling bogged down. I wish it didn’t happen but I don’t know how to stop it. 

For instance, as seen in the picture, I started a blanket a long time ago. It was sometime last year. I wanted to do a C2C blanket (corner to corner) and It started off wonderfully. I started with an off-white color and then it switched to a shade of green. Great. Then it started taking forever to go back and forth as the blanket began getting larger and larger. My idea was much larger than I had expected. I’m currently not even half way through and I’m only about 5 rows into the middle section. I should start feeling a bit better once I get to the line where it begins to decrease. I’ve made multiple C2C blankets, but this one takes tha cake. It feels monstrous, especially when I have it in my lap. I have to curl it up and pull it from side to side as I work down a row. 

As I’ve posted before, I am also into bread making. It takes time away from everything else. The starter, the autolyse, the kneeding, the folding, the rising, the shaping, and the cold rising. I got a bread making machine for my birthday and that takes much less time and effort. It also makes good bread that I like to eat. It doesn’t turn out hard nor does it get old and hard quickly. I don’t think sourdough is my thing. I may need to stick with other loaves and be happy with that.

Then there’s this thing and the accompanying podcast. I really wanted to get back into podcasting. I really, really did. I enjoyed it so much when I did it in the 2010s. I went to Las Vegas multiple times to be in the podcasting community and around good friends. Why did it have to become such a chore. When I was with the ex, he made it seem like it was such a horrible thing for me to do. I hated recording around him. He was an extreme narcissist and on multiple occasions, he told me that I had to present myself in a certain way because he had a name and reputation to uphold and I couldn’t affect that. The ex before him couldn’t have cared less and actually wanted me to do something with my time. Even though he would never take part in it, he was never one to put me down for it. My husband will do the show with me and has done plenty of episodes, but getting time to sit down and record can be a chore in itself. 

Given the time and patience, I know I can get out of my slump. I just have to find the time and develop the patience. Some say it’s a virtue. I say it’s a giant pain in the ass.