Along with all the great times we’ve had, there have been a few rocky times. Like all “true” friends, the gravy of our friendship was tested and made pure. The inner bitches were exactly that…bitches. We were two of the most stubborn people on this earth. Together, we were like brick walls that wouldn’t budge. Sometimes, the walls would get to high and we couldn’t see each other. Those were the truly hard times. When I couldn’t see Garry past the cold, evil bitch hiding deep inside him, there was a disconnect and I truly and deeply hurt. But, on my side of that, I can be an emotional sponge and hold everything inside until it explodes and hurts those around me and in the end, myself.
Once, a few years ago, Garry sent me an email with something he knew he should have said to my face. Those who really know me know that if there is something you want to tell me, something that I should really know, you don’t send it to me in an email. Have the decency to say it to my face and then we can discuss the matter. He had decided that he could write everything out in an email, send it to me with the line, “My mind is made up and there’s no need for you to say anything about it.”, and think I would be fine with it. The sponge effect set in and I didn’t open my mouth to say a word. For almost a month…possibly more…I didn’t say a word to him. We could pass within a few feet from one another and you could feel the iceberg between us.
One Saturday night, we all ended up at the bar for some event. After being there for about an hour, we had drank a few beers and some harder drinks. As any person knows who has drank quite a bit, alcohol can and will act as a truth serum. We ended up within a few feet of each other and it took one or two words said by each other and then the floodgates opened full blast. Everything came out and by the time we were through, our minds and our tear ducts were spent. We could barely talk from a mixture of hoarse voices and crying. We continued to drink that night and from then on, we never had that problem again. As time revealed, the reason for the email and the eventual breakdown never came to fruition. That is, until 2011 when he did finally move to California.
I have a brother that I love with every ounce of my being, but Garry was that brother I wanted that was close to my age and could relate to almost everything going on in my life. For quite a long time, Garry referred to me as “Mama” and the other half as “Deddy”. Yes, it was as strange as it sounds but it came from the relationship we had. If there was something that arose in his life or a decision he made, I was the first person to open my mouth and tell him what I thought. If I didn’t think it was a good idea, I would tell him and then give him the opportunity to either agree with me or give me the reasons why he really needed to carry on. We both did that to him on many occasions. If we hadn’t have done that, I am sure we all would have been just as close, but maybe we helped him make some important decisions.
The strangest of friendships can come from the strangest pairs of people. We couldn’t have proved that statement more correct. My tastes were on one end of the spectrum and his was on the other. We both loved to write to get our minds clear. We both had a love for science fiction movies and books. We both were interested in fitness and eating healthy food when we wanted to. The difference fell on the collectibles from Swarovski where he worked or the Disney movies and prints. I’m interested in hiking and camping and college football. He drank Mountain Dew like it was water. I drank water most of the time. I love trying all types of wine and beer while Garry was a hard liquor and cocktails person. We managed to make things work when we were hanging out and the friendship endured as we always knew it would. Hey, that’s what best friends are for.