What In The Hell, People?

In the middle of the night on Tuesday, I decide to open the WKRG TV-5 news app on my iPhone and get a brief update of what’s going on in that lovely city of Mobile, Alabama.  I usually hear about some ghetto shooting or someone seeing a leprechaun in a tree (true story…look it up on YouTube).  This time, I didn’t see something that would make me chuckle or fall off the couch, laughing hysterically.  Instead, I saw these stories that made me wonder….What the hell?

Soldier Allegedly Kills Pal Who Had Hiccups
Once, while at my grandparent’s house for either Thanksgiving or Christmas, I got hiccups and couldn’t get rid of them.  My uncle snuck up behind me, grabbed my sides, and yelped as loud as he could, almost causing me to shat myself.  And if you’re wondering….I know you’re not….it relieved me of my hiccups.  That being said, he did this WITHOUT THE USE OF A GUN!  Oh my God, really?!  Do you really mess with guns while you’re drunk and watching football?  And in this heightened sense, do you really think there’s “dummy rounds” in your gun when you shot this weapon at your friend’s head….to stop his hiccups?  This sounds like something that should be on America’s Dumbest Criminals.  Criminal because it should be a crime to do something THAT DAMN STUPID!

Ex-University of Alabama Professor Gets Life In Prison
Once when I was a child……yeah, I’ve got nothing. Are you serious, you crazy bitch?!  So you obviously were not the best teacher and wasn’t chosen to get tenure.  That’s not the end of life and it certainly isn’t a reason to end the life of another.  A calm faculty meeting turned into a mini Columbine.  Who would have thought the crazy bitch could have done it TWICE in her life.  There seems to be open questions about the death of her brother years before.  Dun..dun…DUNNNN!  I think this chick has a bottle of RED FLAG perfume…or at least she should.  An economy size bottle!  Being the somewhat sci-fi geek that I am, I was stoked that the chair of biological sciences at the university was named Moriarty.

At least one cool thing came out of all the stupidity.

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