I was looking through some old CDs in a case last night when I found one containing things I had written years ago. I used to write so much and missed doing it before I started this blog. For a short while, I wrote for an attempt at a GLBT youth online magazine called Ten Percent Bent. A lady, in Canada I think, started the site and had a couple of people write articles on various things. I ended up doing articles geared toward motivation and learning to love yourself. Reading the articles now remind me of the man I used to be. I was a bit more naive about many things. Not that I have changed an awful lot, but I had a more skewed outlook. It’s not shown as much in the article I’m putting on here today, but the others are quite clear. Maybe I’ll show them later.
Stand Your Ground
Every day, we see people who get weak and downtrodden because of those who make fun of them and those that refuse to stop the badgering and the intolerance. It is very easy to say, “I can’t deal with this anymore. I can’t go on. I must stop and take another track in my life.” How are we supposed to become a respected society in this world if we keep backing down and accepting the views and opinions of others? Is our fate held in the hands of those who cannot seem to tolerate people of other beliefs and opinions? Are we that dependent on the whims of those who constantly abuse our rights and those who would rather we not even exist? For those who think the day we see equality will never arrive, they’re the ones who need to look deep inside and find their faith.
In a wonderful gift given to me by my Sunday school teacher, I read a passage that really hit me in a soft spot. If you have been keeping up with my articles, first of all, thanks! Second, you are pretty aware that I have quite a few soft spots. It states, “True faith and courage are like a kite – an opposing wind raises it higher.” The meaning of this is so clear and present. I can almost feel myself taking flight! Let’s think about this for just a second.
Let’s take, for instance, this big guy walks by and shouts “Fagot!” Well, that can do two things. First, with my temper, I would probably spin around and shout something very rude and degrading to him. The sensible thing to do is to walk on by and let him bask in his ignorance. He will get his later on! Second, it could totally get you depressed and make you start feeling sorry for yourself. Hopefully it will not lead to anything worse than depression. If thoughts of suicide do become an issue, please talk to a friend or call a hotline for help. Suicide is not the answer to any problem.
When you obtain true faith and courage, which will come sooner or later in your quest to total acceptance, you will be able to hear obscenities or comments and let them pass over without a second thought. That is the basic concept of this passage. Think of yourself as a tree in the large forest of the GLBT community. Let your roots be faith and courage. With these in place, you are sure to be a strong person and able to stand up for your beliefs. You will also be able to master depression. I had to learn this the hard way. I did not know what the power of faith could do. I had no reason to have any before. When I did sit down and discover faith, it made my life so much more bearable. I think with only a pillow and a chair to listen to me, I turned out pretty darn well!
I want to leave you with this verse from “Anywhere Is”, by Enya:
“I took the turn and turned to; begin a new beginning
still looking for the answer; I cannot find the finish
it’s either this or that way; it’s one way or the other
it should be one direction; it could be on reflection
the turn I have just taken; the turn that I was making
I might be just beginning; I might be near the end.”
When I decided to come out to my friends and family, I had a new beginning. I will forevermore be looking for answers to my life’s questions. There is no turning back to when I was not aware of my feelings. Forward is the only direction to travel and help others with their journey. I might be just beginning in the fight for equal rights, but we may be close to the end. Find your faith and courage and that will pave the way to your future.