Halloween is no longer for children!

This past weekend was the beloved jovial holiday of Halloween.  People have been enjoying this holiday since pagan times and the revelry has only become stronger and more flashy.  As I’ve read on many sites and on different hand-outs, Halloween used to consist of simple decorations, such as a lonely jack-o-lantern on the porch with a candle within to illuminate the cut out face.  Today, decorating for the festivities is a multi-million dollar industry.  I’m not referring to only home decorations either.  Costumes have become immaculate in their creation.  From shimmering outfits to dark, gruesome colors, one can make himself/herself feel as though they walked off a Hollywood horror movie.

It’s fun, to me at least, to sit back and reminisce about costumes from the past.  My childhood was made up of extremely simple costumes.  My costume, for many years, consisted of a plastic pirate mask with a rubber band to keep it on my head.  And that was it…simply the mask and my regular clothes.  Clothes that seemed to have found their way into the 80s by jumping into my wardrobe for shelter.  When that mask tore up, I was able to wear my sister’s mask that was a bit more colorful with yellows, reds, and black.  I can’t remember what it was supposed to be.  When I wore it, I knew what Hannibal Lecter felt like while wearing his mask from Silence of the Lambs. LOL!

Who would have known that the costumes to follow involved raiding my mother’s make-up?  Yes, my mother hates red lipstick.  Says it makes her look like a “street walker” and that just can’t work.  Same went with the red fingernail polish.  In the eye shadow collection, found in one of those gigantic Christmas make-up collections, were quite a few colors I believe no woman should ever wear…like gold, brown, and some sades of blue and purple.   My sister and I would attack these and make ourselves into complete and utter Halloween fools!  We would make our necks look like they were stitched up with the red lipstick.  I guess you could say we ended up being more “redneck” than when we started.  It was such a great time.

We never truly decorated the outside of the house.  That was too much to our dad.  He wanted everything simple and no fuss, probably because for some reason he thought he had to do it himself.  God forbid that ass have to get up off the couch and decorate something.  My sister and I looked at the decorations of other houses and imagined what ours could look.  Dream a little dream of Halloween was our past time!

As I got older, dressing up for Halloween wasn’t that important or thought about really.  I watched my little brother have fun and that made me feel good.  I became the one to take him out trick-or-treating.  He had his Barney costume and I believe at one time he was a Power Ranger.  After that, I honestly haven’t a clue.  I ran off to college where Halloween truly meant nothing.  I don’t believe I dressed up at all while there.  If it couldn’t be found in a bottle, most of the time I couldn’t have cared less.

When I met Travis in 1999, we moved to Atlanta and things started to creep back into my life.  Especially things that afforded me the chance of having fun in a childlike manner.  For instance, this past weekend marked the 10th Atlanta Gay Pride Festival that I have attended.  That first year was awesome, minus the trip back home where a dumbass 16 year old plowed into the passenger side of our Thunderbird.  Yeah, I wanted to throw that bitch into the oncoming traffic.  That weekend proved to me that I could have fun again.

After that, …ta-dahhh….enters Garry, our roommate, from stage right! I met Garry while working at Warner Brothers in Gwinnett Place Mall, during that mall’s much better days. He was funny yet quiet.  It took me to pull that helpless queerling out of the darkness! LMAO!  We became great friends.  I don’t believe we did anything that first Halloween. I’m sure he had moved in with us by then.  The following Halloween started the dressing up again for me. And boy, we blew the doors off the closet!  We went to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night and asked a girl, “By looking at us, what bra size would you think is more flattering and desirable?”  LMAO!  She sucked it up and told us what she thought.  It turned out perfectly.  A bit on the tragic side, but I was happy. I think I was going for the prudish church lady and to some extent, I think I mastered it!

Drag that was not such a drag!

Drag that was not such a drag!

Other Halloweens were to follow in the same drag style, however, more in the right direction.  If gay men don’t like women sexually, we can sure as hell make fun of them. I mean, who else is fun to make this kind of hysteria about?!  Trust me, I have seen women in my lifetime that looked much worse than this.  There was an ass on me in this picture.  Those nails drove me up the all.  That hat…..fierce!  We had gone to Eckerd Drug in Norcross, GA to show off our outfits.  The coworkers wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I think we caused enough.

Guinevere and the exploding dragon from trailer!

Guinevere and the exploding dragon from trailer!

The following Halloween was at The River’s Edge in North Georgia.  Every Halloween, they have a costume contest and the best one usually wins a weekend in the best cabin on the grounds.  I chose to go as a medieval maiden.  When I got into costume, the other campers there decided I was Guinevere.  I went with it.  I made it to the top 15 costumes.  I was there alone.  I was there with my trusty sidekick.  He originally went as the slutty school girl, but quickly became Kelly Osbourne.  How precious is that, I ask you!  Garry got into the top 5 costumes.  One fatal mistake he made was when he had to go back across the stage to show off for the second time.  He thought he would do a big slutty dip to show off his ass to the audience (or rather how easily he could bend down for access).  When he “dipped it low”, the vinyl shorts he was wearing ripped up the back, giving everyone an easier access!  LOL!  You go girl!

Guinevere and Kelly taking a break from the action!

Guinevere and Kelly taking a break from the action!

Things got a bit more girly a few years later when one of our friends wanted a drag birthday party like the one in CAMP.  We dressed up in our best drag and proceeded to The Stage Door in Tucker, GA.  It was a great night.  It wasn’t on Halloween, but I look at it as my costume for that

Wes in drag for special occasion!

Wes in drag for special occasion!

year.  After all that work, I wasn’t going to do it again! LOL. One night of make-up in a week (hell, a year) is enough for me.  It’s enough to kill any man.

That brings me to the last costume I have worn.  I knw some will think it terrible because of the wars going on, but it was the only thing I could think of quickly.  No funny toward our vets.  I went as a soldier caught in crossfire.  Now that I think about it, it could have been something else a bit more on the less offensive side.  But isn’t Halloween always going to be offensive to someone?  Southern Baptists and most other Christian sects think people who celebrate Halloween in any way is a heathen.  It’s all a mental state.

So that is my lengthy trip through Halloween costume Hell! LOL.  Maybe someday in the future, I will think up something a bit on the  scary side and something a lot less like a woman.  I have worn enough pairs of panty hose in the recent years  that I pretty much don’t ever want to wear them again in my life!  I

Final Halloween costume

Final Halloween costume

feel for the women out there that wear them.  My long johns and my union suit will be perfectly fine!

Until later everyone,

Wes
The Gay Country Boy

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