On January 14, 2016, Dr. Alan Penrod, or to us, SIR Alan, was taken from us…his family, partner, boy, friends, and the leather community. He was a wonderful man with such a loving soul. Some saw him as intimidating and in some ways he was. I thought he was…until one night, I walked up to him and introduced myself and sought his friendship. I am thankful every day that I shared that moment in time with him along with many others afterward. I was blessed to know the man inside that gorgeous, muscle bound body and I will forever be changed. I will be able to tell others who come into the community, in years to come, about the loving “giant” who wanted nothing more than for everyone to have a peaceful life filled with excitement and knowledge. He wanted everyone to find the person inside and live that person.
I remember a conversation I had with SIR Alan the night I met him. I had come to the conclusion that I wanted to be a leather Sir myself. When I told him that I was interested in this, his first words were, “Oh! OK!” I should have known from that sound, and the accompanying facial expression, that he saw right through me. He, however, continued with the conversation and tried to find the basis and possible execution of my plan. I told him I was in the process of reading a book and doing my research. When I told him the book I was reading, he said, “You can continue to read that book if you would like to read porn and get off to it. But, that is all it is good for. You have to be yourself and if that happens to be a Sir, then you’ll know it. You don’t need that damn book to tell you anything.” I didn’t pick up that book again.
Another thing he told one of our fellow Panther brothers was that, “Daddy needs a daddy sometime.” Being a Sir, he knew there were times when even the toughest of men needed someone to take care of their needs. I remember when I heard those words, I was dumbfounded. Being “taken aback” doesn’t come close to describe my reaction to that statement. That would be like Superman needing someone of more strength and power to look up to for his own strength. I saw him as Superman. But imaging a man, past title holder of Mr. International Leather Sir, always being looked at as handler, master, daddy, and of course, Sir. There were expectations. There were things only he seemed to be able to do (not just because of his level of OCD). With all this pressure, all the time, of course he occasionally needed to let off steam. As much as we raised him to higher levels than humanly possible, he was still a man. We couldn’t fault him for that and never would we try.
SIR Alan will forever be in our hearts and the courage he showed us will always live on inside us.