GCB0119 – Coming Out Again…Just Tied This Time

Hello again after such a long period of not doing any shows. I was driving to work while recording the show. You can tell that I was talking maybe slower than I normally do. I was not only trying to drive safely, but I was also trying to form my sentences correctly and in a way they would make sense.

I talk about some things in this episode that I really had to think about. I like podcasts that make me think and this one definitely made me think. I’m sure there will be things that people don’t want to hear and I hope I hear something from people about this episode. At times, my eyes did water up, but it wasn’t from sadness….it was total happiness and a good feeling. I also talk about this great new picture of me!

Kinky Country Wes

Kinky Country Wes

Please, if you would, let me know what you think of this episode. You can send emails to thegaycountryboy@gmail.com or you can leave me a voice message at 678-765-9776.

Finding A Love For Pink

Recently, I have found that I love the color pink. Yes, I said it. I love the color pink.

Growing up, I loved the florescent colors of blue, green, and pink…otherwise known as hot pink. Fuchsia was alwas a wonderful color to me. I have a dress shirt that is fuchsia and I have socks to match. I wore it a few weeks ago and I fell in love with it. I felt, for the lack of a better term, cute. I was totally matching. Later in the week, I wore an Aero shirt that is pink and white horizontal stripes. I even have a few pairs of pink underwear.

While at Target the other day, I was looking around and found myself in the men’s clothing department. I definitely went there to look at the socks and underwear. I was rewarded by a pair of grey and hot pink trunks. I don’t normally wear trunks, but for $5.99, I didn’t say no. I walked around a little more and this great pink and white plaid shirt said…”Hey, you know you want to take me home. C’mon and get me!”….the way that shirts talk to people. You’ve been there before. You know what I mean.

Anyway, it was bought and I brought it into a loving home. I wore it and WOW, it actually looks good on me and works with my pasty white….”I haven’t seen the sun in months!”….skin.

First LiveJournal Posting – July 2, 2004

I started looking through my LiveJournal account tonight and I found the post I made on the very first day I learned it existed and signed up. That was July 2, 2004. That’s 11 years ago, people! The days before Facebook and in the days when people, especially those on LiveJournal, loved to write. It was so wonderful to be on a site with people who loved to express themselves as much as I did. So….here was the post (and mind frame) on that day.

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Another week has come to an end and Friday evening is a time when I give my body hell at the gym. For some reason, I am used to doing that since I seem to think I will not make it to the gym over the weekend. Saturday is a great day to go to the LA Fitness on Sugarloaf. There aren’t that many people there. You don’t feel crazy being there. People aren’t looking at you like you are some misfit trying to become one of them.

My self-esteem is really low, if you can believe that. My husbear, Travis, doesn’t understand how it can be so low. He says that I need a therapist….I say I need more self-acknowledgment. I stand in front of the mirror, and instead of pointing out the good parts (which are already pointing themselves out), I point out the overhanging love handles and then the abundance of freckles from childhood sunburns. Then I look at my uneven tan lines and the appearance of white underwear on my arse when I am actually naked. Weird seems to be the word rolling over and over in my mind as I run my hand across my stomach and over my crotch.

I remember not to long ago when I was running a race with digichaser. He is that friend that everyone has that eats like a freakin garbage disposal but doesn’t get any of the fat out of it. I love ya, Bitch. Anyway, I had lost from close to 180 lbs. down to 135 lbs. This was done after I got a job with the company from hell, Eckerd. I was the only management there for a little over a month, other than service assistants. But they had other jobs and I was there for extended amounts of time. The only thing I had to eat was, weirdly, a bottle of Eckerd water. Like ten or more a day. I would get one early in the morning (sports size) and continually fill it up throughout the day.

Friends and others were getting worried and wanted to know if I was “sick”. I would look at them and then would just cringe and how my cheeks had started to sink in. “Of course not”, I would yell. Then you would see them let out this long sigh of relief at my lack of AIDS. Seriously, I looked great to myself. But I worried others, so I started eating again. Well, one trip to San Fran and my stomach just jumped back out there, never to allow me to see that wonderful, sexy V in my midsection. That’s life though. (And my wonderful bear men, don’t think I am whining about not being thin….you all are the ones that get me going. Don’t do anything to change yourself unless you pick up some weights. Then I will stand there with you in my jock for inspiration!)

So I am on my way to the gym. Going to do many crunches and lift some weights. By the time I leave the gym, I expect to be pumped and ready to go. The only thing to bring this evening to a close is my wonderful time in the sauna, watching those amazing men wipe the sweat off their bodies and adjusting their love swords underneath their towels.

Thank God I wore my white, 2xst contour pouch briefs today. They bring everything to the front and pick it up! Watch out men, I’m poking through!!!!!

A New Post from a New Computer

I am quite happy that today, I received a new little baby. I am the proud owner of a nice little HP mini desktop computer. I know it’s not some raging fast, large capacity monstrosity, but that is fine. It will do everything I need for it to do. I need to move the program for my voice recorder over from my old laptop for when I feel like recording something new. I will most likely download Chrome as I detest Internet Explorer. I have my full office suite installed and ready to go. I hope I will be at this computer often and posting more exciting things happening in my life.

One important thing is that I’ve managed to lose 10-12 lbs in the last month and couldn’t be happier. I had become large and it was all my fault. I was letting things get to me, bring me down, and make me eat stupid things without thinking about the effects on my body. I’ve seen great things happening to my body already and I hope the changes do not stop.

Until I get more to write about, have a great week!

It’s A New Year

I hope everyone’s year is starting off great. It’s definitely starting off here in the Atlanta area as a very rainy and cold year. I’m hoping it warms up, but if last year is any indication of what we’re going to see, we need to batten down the hatches and pull up our long johns. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. Or, better yet, a slippery one. At the current time, The Weather Channel® app says that it is 15° F (-9.44° C) at our house. That is insane! Yes, Mother Nature, we know it is winter, but for goodness sake, keep this mess above the Mason-Dixon Line! LOL!

I know what this means for tomorrow morning. This means I will be reaching in to the back of my dresser and grabbing my 2xist or Champion long johns or going into the closet and getting my red Bass Pro union suit. Either one will work wonderfully. I guess it all depends on whether I want to walk around all day in underwear that covers my whole body or in something that only covers the legs. The last time I wore my union suit, I found myself getting naked in the bathroom at work, peeling off this horribly hot piece of clothing. It had been rather cold that morning, but as the day progressed, it became warmer and warmer. It was either sit at my desk and be totally miserable or go be a stripper in the bathroom for a few moments and hope someone would be gracious enough to throw a dollar or two under the stall wall. I wouldn’t have anything to put the money in until my pants were put back on, but I would still have thanked them.

I have been thinking heavily on what I want to make resolutions for this year. The first thing is to get back into better shape. That’s muy importante! I have gut drastically back on the amount of carbs I intake. I haven’t had a soft drink in a while. I haven’t eaten any candy except for the occasional breath mint (others are happy). I have been eating more lean meat and vegetables along with fruit. I cheated a few nights ago because the partner and I went to a local Sushi restaurant and I ordered their deluxe arrangement of 12 pieces of sashimi and 7 pieces of nigiri which could not have been more fantastic. If a dish has ever made you happy, you know how I felt eating this wonderful meal. At times, I felt horrible that I was eating such art. Salmon, tuna, scallops, and more adorned a long plate with shredded Asian radish. I’m sure they would have been pretty swimming around in water but they were more delicious in my stomach.

I want to work on like learning more programming with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript. More and more things are being given to me at work that involve programming and it’s getting more difficult in understanding. Just recently, I was assigned two tasks that depended on me to write JavaScript to show various pictures on pages depending on the ID of a restaurant location. Another task had me using a different setup to basically do the same thing but with much deeper coding. I know the more I work on it, the more I will be able to handle. I just need the time and the ability to focus on what I am doing.

There are other things I want to work on, but I will take those day by day. Those things sit deeper in me…not like in my colon or stomach, but in my soul and who I am as a person. We should always be looking ourselves over to see things like that. Don’t wait till Lent to tackle those things. Get a head start and you’ll have a little over a month to work on it before Ash Wednesday.

Have a fabulous New Year and make it one you will never forget.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

It seems like 2014 recently began, but here we are approaching Christmas and the greeting of 2015. We get a barrage of feelings during this short yet hectic holiday. We are, most importantly, happy that we have made it through another year with ourselves, our other halves, and all our other loved ones. We are excited to see what the following year holds. We anticipate changes in the coming year to balance out the things that didn’t pan out the year before.

Yet, do we think about everyone else who may also be feeling the way we do?

This past Sunday, we celebrated the final Sunday of Advent. Advent is a time of preparation. The word preparation can mean various things to people depending on the context. Within the Christian religion, Advent is a time of preparation of the nativity of Christ the child and also the return of Christ the King. We ready ourselves to observe the birth of Christ in beautiful services with amazing flower and ornamental displays, beautiful music, and warm gatherings to spread love and the ever lasting prayer for peace. At the same time, in the church year, we are approaching the season of Lent and Easter as we look thoroughly through ourselves to find even the smallest pieces of doubt, fear, and guilt and offer those at the feet of Christ and pray that he take them from us in return for his mercy, forgiveness, and God’s grace.

During this Advent and Christmas season, I hope that everyone close to me, and all who read my blog, have dug deep inside themselves. I hope that whatever was found was closely observed and questioned. “Does this need to be held inside any longer or do I need to release it?” I have tried my best to look through myself to see if there are any bits of quilt or bad feelings and I have found a few things that do not make me feel proud. Those will be worked on as the following days, weeks, and months flow by me. It’s the least I can do to better myself.

All that leading up to how much I have enjoyed many moments during 2014. I have met some wonderful people who have helped me find myself. I have wonderful friends who have been allowed into my life even deeper than they were to witness my thoughts and the direction why were going. At the same moment, unfortunately, others that posed negative affects on my life have been pushed farther away. I know that shouldn’t be the case, but I can’t have arms pulling me down at the same time as more loving arms are trying to pull me upward. Just as a sheet of paper, I would be torn apart if I continued to allow the negative to get that strong of a hold on me. Maybe in the future, instead of those arms trying to pull me down, they will try to help push me up or even take my hand and let me pull them up with me.

To all that read The Gay Life of a Country Boy, I wish you the most wonderful blessings and happiness this Christmas season and I hope that New Years will open your locked doors and let your spirit free and experience life as it should be lived. Do good for friends, family, those that aren’t as fortunate as yourself, and then lastly…but definitely not least…do things for yourself that make you feel good and feel lifted. Make a promise to yourself that you will stay positive. Make a promise to yourself that when you see negativity come close, you will walk the other way. We have a life that we can either spend feeling depressed and upset all the time or we can make a change and look for positive influences and positive thoughts and walk above all the darkness.

Much love to you all and I hope I will be around much more in 2015.

Why Be Against Nudity

I came across this little gem today. It’s great when I find others with the same thoughts on things as I do…especially nudity. Have we, as humans, made too large of a deal about nudity? Why is it that if I get naked, people either get happy or confused, or totally angry and want me hung? Are people scared of the human body? It will forever be a mystery to me.

GCB0118 – Alive And Well

Episode 118 is a short but sweet podcast. I took a moment to sit down a record something to say I had recorded something this summer. It’s to let you all know I’m alive and well. I’m just figuring some things out. Give us a call at (678) 765-9776 or an email at thegaycountryboy@gmail.com

Passwords

Why do they have to be such a pain to create? I know they have to be complicated so that any idiot can’t get into your accounts. The trouble is trying to come up with something that will make sense to you in the future. Ugh!

Being Tested and Finding Strength

When you hear of someone being tested, what do you imagine?  Do you think of a test of something being taught? Maybe you think of someone being tested on the ability to do a task.

Do you ever think about someone being tested spiritually?

Recently, I was faced with a dilemma. A person became upset because of something I didn’t do, even though my plans were not fully known to them. Without one thought to call, that person, in the manner we’ve become accustomed, blew a mental gasket and decided to take his misplaced frustration out on an innocent person…at the same time proclaiming to be doing it for the sake of that person. I know, I was quite confused myself. Before long, the tirade evolved into me not being welcomed around that person for the duration of my trip. By the way, I was not in Atlanta at the time.

I could have taken this rather differently than I did, but I prayed for a calmness to overtake me. What would it have proven if I had taken the same approach as that individual? It would have proven that the “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” I couldn’t let that become true. I have tried my entire life to prove that statement wrong. With a new vision of what life can be, I have to be the better person in a time of trial. Looking back, I could see this as a test of my character, my belief, and my faith. At the same time, I could see this as a test of my willingness to follow at least one of God’s commandments. They’re rather easy to follow, but it would be easier if everyone in question would make that an easier task. I, at one point in time, even questioned the ability of God to change that person from the inside. At moments, I was feeling bouts of anger and resentment towards this person, not because of his opinions, but rather his way of voicing them.

Around my neck, I wear a necklace given to me in high school. I may have written about it before, but it says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7) I don’t wear it simply to have something hanging around my neck. I truly believe its words. When faced with a situation we find difficult or stressful or disheartening, we are given the power to get through it, the love to show those involved, and the self-discipline to not do something to either make the situation worse or cause unpleasant feelings in those involved.

When I returned to Atlanta, I had a feeling something wasn’t right. Had I done something that wasn’t thoughtful of other’s feelings? Did I make my own personal excuses as a rebuttal to that person’s issues or did I create them to ease my conscience? Were my actions understood by the person wrongly scolded? I believe that my actions were perfectly fine and my intentions, or plans, were respected and understood by that person. I however was left wondering how I needed to handle the person airing the issue. Do I call to apologize for something I shouldn’t feel ashamed or should I let it go and observe from a distance?

When in times of doubt, confusion, or in need of direction, I was always taught to pray and listen…talking to God as a best friend, telling everything causing trouble and uneasiness, and then listening for the answer in whatever way is revealed. One of those recent prayers was to reaffirm my faith in God that he can move in people, no matter how difficult it may seem. There have been more hardened hearts God has broken. In that time of prayer, I did as I should and prayed for the others involved…that they be comforted and filled with the love that heals.

Sometimes, the hardest thing is asking for help, but the scariest thing is thinking there’s no one there to listen. I may not have a secret telephone with a direct line to heaven, but I do have a soul that feels connected and full of power and commitment. That’s my channel to God and my way to get the message to Him, knowing He will be there to listen and give direction.

And that is what I receive….direction on how to navigate through a life filled with curvy roads and high mountains.