The Gay Life of a Country Boy

Strangely, while in high school, Mondays were some of the best days of the week. I was sort of a nerd because I would rather be at school than be at home. I could be around people I liked and was doing stuff I liked to do….learning. Now as an adult, it’s all about work. Ugh! So many things change. It might not be so bad if I was doing something I liked. Hopefully, this accounting degree will help me find a more productive job and I can begin to love my chosen career. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

While looking at my Google Analytics, I noticed some white spots in my map of visitors in the United States! What’s up with that, guys?  Get me spread around more than a $.02 whore on a Jersey street corner. LOL.  The following is where I need to get to:

1. Maine – OK, northerners! I know there are some gay country men up in the shoe state.  Introduce me!
2. New Hampshire – You’re a small state, but get in there and find some husky, well-built (blessed) guys to spread the word!
3. Rhode Island – Even smaller, but I bet there’s a mofo sittin’ in that state that’s just waiting to spread the good word. Hmmm, what would that word be?
4. Delaware – Archerr, aren’t you up there somewhere? Spread me out! LMAO!
5. West Virginia – Somewhere, somehow…someone has an Internet connection in this state.  And country, OMG, HELLO!
6. Mississippi – 90% of the people I know from MS are gay.  30% of them are drag queens.  Help me out guys!
7. The 4 State Sex-tion (North and South Dakota, Montana, and Wyoming) – I seem to be unable to infiltrate this sextion of the US.  There has to be a cowboy or a construction worker that’s dying to get to know a country gay guy is out there who just may be into the same things he is.  Or at least, I’m hoping!
8. New Mexico – ¿Dónde están ustedes? Estoy triste porque no vas a mi página web. Ven a hacer una visita!  I know you’re “New” Mexico, but I’m sure there’s some brothers and sisters in your state.
9. Nevada – Yes, I’m not Las Vegas or Reno.  I know I cannot be your slot machine.  But I do have a lever!

This is not a hook up request, but I so want these states to turn green on my map thingy. I want green from ocean to ocean.  If I can cover 90% of the Asian continent, I should be able to cover the US.

…do you part!

Yes, folks.  I have found out today that you can purchase your casket at our friendly Wal-Mart.  Now you can be frugal till you’re dead.  While on Twitter today, a friend of mine posted his finding on the Wal-Mart website.  I don’t know about yall, but this is rather disturbing to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love shopping at Wal-Mart, even if the products did come from the ghettos of China and their sweat shops.  The company has employed many members of my family and close friends,  even the partner for a few years.  Stopping by there to pick up some shampoo, tomatoes, or lube is understandable.  It’s something that’s going to either clean you, feed you, or help you slippy slide.  But selling something for you to bury a loved one?  C’mon people!  Doesn’t your loved one deserve to be buried in something not from Wal-Mart?  If you were going to do that, why not go cut some trees down, hollow them out, and bury the person it them.  Or get some plywood and make a box.

Not to be picking on Wally World, when I learned of this, I turned to my partner and asked him if he knew that.  Of course, he says that’s old news and that I am behind.  Well, hell Gertrude!  I thought I could get something over on him.  Come to find out, Costco also sells these sleeping dead boxes also, along with other “wholesale” websites.  What has this world come to?  I guess you can pre-order these things so that you have it ready for time of death.  How morbid is that?  “Oh, I think I’m going to die within the next year or two, so I’ll go ahead and get a casket and put it out in the storage shed next to the broken down Chevy.”  Who thinks like that?

We can never say that the world of retail is not there to cover your every waking, or sleeping, need.

I love the feel of my face after a shave, especially after going about a week without shaving.